Name your pet


Here are the official top names for pets.

Dog Male – Gerald
Dog Female – Elizabeth
Cat Male – Bernard
Cat Female – Missy
Hamster Male – Frank
Hamster Female – Ethel
Tortoise Male – Paddy
Tortoise Female – Agnes
Horse Male – Jumping Fred
Horse Female – Pearl River
Rabbit Male – Humpy
Rabbit Female – Peaches
Guinea Pig Male – Flash
Guinea Pig Female – Susan
Parrot Male – Josh
Parrot Female – Annie
GoldFish Male – Howard
Goldfish Female – Roxanne
Snake Male – Ian
Snake Female – Tracy
Many thanks to Pet Namers International for these results
Based on a survey of over 30 people.


Is there any life in space?



With the exception of the planet earth it is unlikely that there is any other life in our solar system.
The main contender for the prize of “life on planet” is Mars, but after much investigations and orbits, nothing much has been found apart from a few rocks and the possibility of a bit of water.
Other contenders were Venus (pretty hot), Europa, a moon of Jupiter (a planet) which might be a bit cold.
This only leaves us with the rest of the universe in which to carry out our investigations.
Some stars can be seen by the naked eye, but not all. Although they can be seen, they cannot be seen clear enough to distinguish whether there is life there.
Even a large elephant on Proxima Centauri (our nearest star) would not be seen by the naked eye, and even if it could be seen the elephant would probably burn to death on a star.
Let us imagine that we could see life on Proxima Centauri. Then it would be life that existed 4.37 years ago.
So until more is known it is hard to say.



The price is right
The price is right

Which one to choose. Its the question on everyones mind.
Which to choose.
Should I go for convienience, cost or choice.
For overall choice it would probably be ASDA. But that awful green uniform. Why the obsesion with green.

For sex appeal it has to be Aldi. Well presented and elegant, with more german food than a spaniard knows what to do with.

Morrisons (That deserves a mention).

Tescos. Lots and lots of Tescos. On every street. Being glamourous just like only Tescos knows how to do.

Travelling 80 miles to the nearest. Waitrose never really appeals. By the time I get back the mushrooms are out of date.

Then there is freshness. Iceland knows what thats all about. Fresh, fresh, fresh from the freezer. A bargain for a bargain hunter.

Ultimately the choice is yours. But dont wait too long or you might get hungry or the price might go up.

Tell me the truth


I recieved a rejection letter today to add to the pile of letters which all read exactly the same.

Dear [Add name here]

Thank you for attending the recent interview at our store in [add place name].

Unfortunately due to the high number of applicants whose expreience closely matched our requirements, you have been unsuccessful on this occasion.

Will will however keep your details on our files and inform you if more suitable positions should arise.

May I take this opportunity of wishing you every success for the future and thank you for your interest in the company.

Yours sincerly [Signature]

pp [Someone who couldent care less]


I wish that the would tell the truth. That my details are in a file called dustbin, I didnt get the job cos I was too old with no experience, they dont care if I get a job or not. Then they have the right to put “Yours sincerly” and maybe add a fiver compensation. Then I can drown my sorrows and feel sorry for myself.

Cover Up

I wonder if this woman could put some clothes on.

Its one thing being controversial, and its another thing pushing private parts of your anatomy into the camera in order that the perv watching the video can smell what you had for dinner.

Ok you have a great body. It would suit a nice long dress.

And by the way Happy birthday.

Madonna 54 today.

My exciting life


After several months of waiting we finally have a break in the awful weather. This was a great opportunity to put some weedkiller down. So all this moss and weeds has had its day. I also managed to trim the hedge.

Its hard to believe that life can be this exciting. But it is.

Today I think I will buy a carton of milk and a newspaper.